Well, we are on fire tonight.
I finally got around to setting up a forum for the former Didcot sixth form (well, our segmant of it anyway).
So, here it is: forums.omega.org.uk
All accounts are currently being manually authorised, by email, so it should take about 30 seconds for me to approve you 
(kidding, I do check my mail very frequently though).
I’m going to sleep now. Goodnight.
1) A messenger runs into your throne room, and tells you the fortress is being stormed. Do you
a) Kill him, as an example to those who doubt your mastery with designing impenetrable fortresses
b) Laugh, because the sharks with the frickin’ laser beams will deal with the intruders
c) Order a fortress-wide alert
d) Excuse yourself, then make your way to your private jet
2) The hero is in your dungeon, awaiting execution. How should it be done?
a) Firing squad at dawn
b) Well, the circular saw swings on a pendulum, which cuts a wire, which releases the hero from his cage, into the pool of sharks with the frickin’ laser beams…
c) Shot. Right now. No chance for errors.
d) Not an issue, because your Legion of Doom executed him on sight
3) Your most trusted lieutenant is:
a) Trust? Who needs trust, they dare not oppose me!
b) The AI I wrote to control my laser beam.
c) Tyranocore, my left hand man
d) The late Tyranocore, he will share my secrets with no-one
4) The hero is clinging to a cliff by his fingertips:
a) Make him listen to the speech you had prepared
b) Snipe at him with your satellite-mounted laser beam
c) Push him
d) Get one of your legions of doom to push him, while you cover with a rifle
5) While on operations in a forest, you here a twig snap.
a) One of my men should be more than a match for anything the opposition have!
b) My seeker robot with a laser beam will find whatever it was
c) Send out an elite squad of 20 scouts
d) Now where did I leave that napalm…
6) The hero has a gun to your head. He asks you to surrender.
a) Surrender? I know not the meaning of surrender!
b) Laugh, because the bullet will bounce of my force field!
c) Surrender, but cross your fingers behind your back
d) Mourn the impending loss of one of your body doubles
7) What is your weakness?
a) I have no weakness!
b) A power cut
c) Kryptonite
d) That is on a need to know basis, and you don’t need to know.
The enemy is coming. Which of your troops do you send out first?
a) My elite squad of ninjas!
b) The sharks with the frickin’ laser beams!
c) All of them, better safe then sorry.
d) My unit of elite 5 year old children trained to shoot rifles, and burst into tears the second anyone points a weapon at them.
9) You have the hero cornered. He yells “Look behind you!”
a) A trap! Ignore him!
b) You can already see behind you, thanks to the camera on the back of your head
c) Step to one side, make a half turn, as to observe both the hero and what is behind you
d) Mourn the passing of another body double.
10) How do you turn on your weapon of ultimate doom?
a) Push the button, and wait for the countdown to hit 0!
b) Enter the password, then scan your fingerprint, then the iris, then wait for the countdown to hit 0
c) A single button, instant on.
d) Push the button, wait till the countdown hits 117, and laugh at the expression on the heroes face when his planet is wiped out before the countdown finishes
How did you do?
Mostly A’s
You are the archetypal villain. You will never succeed if you continue like this. You are too sure of your own ability, and make too many assumptions about the abilities of others
You should always have a backup plan or two, just in case.
Famous Villains like you: Doctor Evil, Praetor Shinzon, Agent Smith, The Big, Bad Wolf
Mostly B’s
You rely far too much in technology, a single power cut and you are reduced to nothingness.
At the very least stock up on some weapons that don’t require electricity
Famous Villains like you: Krang, Doctor Claw, Doctor Octopus, HAL 9000, Kuja
Mostly C’s
Getting there, you are no fool, but you sometimes sacrifice safety for completing the job quickly and without errors.
Get one of your lieutenants to do the odd thing, they may be inferior in every way, but they can accomplish basic tasks
Famous Villains like you: Shredder, Captain Black, Catbert, Carmen Sandiego
Mostly D’s
You are perfect. You are numero uno. You have taken the advice of all the best villains, Ra, Voldemort, Darth Vader, Sephiroth, The Borg, and looked at their mistakes.
You live by the evil overlords handbook.
The world doesn’t stand a chance.
Ok, I’m going to try updating every few days, even if it’s only a photo or something, but for now, here is a joke I heard on the bus.
Edward Longshanks (Edward I of England) travels North to conquer the Scots, and he brings 4,000 men with him.
As he nears the battlefield, suddenly there appears a solitary figure on the crest of the hill. It is short, ginger-haired man in a kilt.
“Hammer o’ the Scots?” He yells! . “Come up here, ya English fools, and I’ll give ye a hammerin’!”
Edward turns to his commander. “Send 20 men to deal with that upstart, there’s a good chap!”, he says.
The commander sends twenty of his best men over the hill to kill the Scotsman.
Ten minutes later, at the crest of the hill, the little Scot appears again. “Ya English Jampots!”, he yells. “Come on the rest of ye!! Come on, I’ll have ye a’!!!”
Edward is now very annoyed. He turns to his commander and says, “Send 100 men to kill that little guttersnipe!”
The commander sends a hundred man over the hill to do the job. Ten minutes later, the little Scot appears at the top of the hill once more, his hair all sticking up, his shirt a wee bit torn. “Ya English SCUM!”, he yells. “I’m just warming up!! Come and get me, ya English gits!!”
Edward losses patience. “Commander, take 400 men and WIPE HIM OFF THE EARTH!”, he yells. The commander gulps, but leads four hundred men on horseback over the crest of the hill.
Ten minutes later, the little Scotsman is back. His clothing is all torn, his face is covered in blood, gore and Irn-Bru. “Is that the best ye can do??? You’re bloody WIMMIN!!! Come on!! Come and have a go ya bunch of Jessies!!!”, he yells.
Edward turns to his second in command. “Take 1000 men over that hill and don’t come back till you’ve killed him!” he commands. The second in command gathers the men and they ride off over the hill to their fate.
Ten minutes later, one of the English troops appears back at the top of the hill. He’s covered in blood and his clothes are all torn. “Your Majesty!!” he yells. “It’s a trap!!! There’s TWO of them!!!
Credit to y2u.co.uk for ensuring I don’t have to type the whole thing out
